Lurking....

Am I the only one who while using a computer likes to work without someone hanging over them.  


It is a major pet peeve of mine and always has been.  


I have never liked grade school teachers hanging over me watching and cringing as I misplace that decimal point in my math problem and they cringe.  I hadn't even had a chance to double check my work yet.  


I have never liked someone reading a few paragraphs of my unfinished story and I certainly never have liked anyone looking over my shoulder while I'm paying my credit card bill online.  It doesn't matter who you are.  It doesn't matter if I have known you all my life, if you are my best friend or my foe.  If I invite you to view something or ask for your opinion that is quite another story.  About the only thing I enjoyed people watching my every move was when I was coaching, playing basketball or softball myself.  I assume that is because we are all most confident in what we are the very best at.


I have come to the conclusion that no one should take offense to someone trying to protect what they are working on or protect the information that is dear to them whether it is intellectual or financial and let's face it if it is so hurtful that you can't lurk like a gargoyle over someone when they are working on something or you can't avoid asking twenty questions every time someone is typing furiously on a computer whether you are a friend, boss, wife, husband or other relative then there are much grander issues to contemplate.  The issue of trust.  


I find that many humans are inappropriately curious in their coworkers, friends and relatives lives.  How often are we in a hurry to spread or hear the newest rumor we hear around the water cooler?  How often do you spy what someone is working on when you are sitting on an airplane?  Is it our right?  Now imagine that being a friend or relative of yours...  Would you like them to include you by telling you themselves or would you rather keep running up to them begging to see it and telling them that if they trusted you...if you really loved them...if you were really friends you would share it... ?    Or would you like them to include you when the project, paper, thesis when they were done?  Would you like to see your birthday gift on your birthday?  


These are questions that we all need to ask ourselves.  Sometimes human beings need their own space.  They need to find out things on their very own.  They don't need someone hanging over their shoulder.  We don't always no the background. Some people's every move has been critiqued since the moment of their conception and some are simply shy and others still are perfectionists who seek to have some sort of idea well thought out prior to unleashing it to the wrath of what can be a cruel world.


I urge you to treat life as the French..   Slow down, have a glass of wine, enjoy your dinner, take a walk, watch a sunset...  And as hard as it may seem try to believe that not everything that happens is about you.  Not every conversation is about you.  Not everyone is out to get you.  Not everything is a secret.  Not everything is a sin.  Understand that things will be that are supposed to be.  


Don't force what shouldn't be forced.  


Most importantly place yourself in another position.  Would you like the neighbors to take in your every move through the windows even if you have nothing to hide?  It is disrespectful to do the same thing to our friends and family.  Even more so.